Katrina Kaif's latest nude motion picture, not yet released: In an X-clusive scoop for your Bollywood correspondent, the lovely Katrina Kaif's latest nude video, not yet released, has somehow 'landed on his desk'! Known throughout film city for his rave reviews might he have been able to have called in a favour or two, who knows? Or, could it have been his extensive contacts in Cannes sending him a Christmas present?
However it got there, his good fortune could soon be yours - read the text carefully looking for the hidden answerthen see the competition questions at the end of this report to win this exclusive recording of what will be the 'film of the decade'!.
Boomtime for Katrina
When Katrina Kaif first set foot in India she had no idea that within seven years she would have eighteen films under her sari and have become one of the most sought after stars ever. This is even more extraordinary since she is of British Nationality; her mother is English and her father Kashmiri. Furthermore, when she arrived in India she spoke no Hindi at all.
Her first film 'Boom' was panned by the critics who called it 'all hype and little substance'. Even with the'eye-catching' cast ensemble that included such beauties as - Padma, Madhu Sapre along with Katrina, Amitabh Bachchan, and the Hollywood stunner Bo Derek, the movie failed to hold the viewer interest.
Modesty Ablaze
It is true that her films have shown her seemingly getting raunchier and raunchier, going from showing an inch of midriff to a full-blown bikini showing more and more skin. Indeed 'Katrina Kaif + Bikini' is one of the most googled combinations yielding nearly a million hits. In her last film Tees Maarkhan she performed a belly dance in which she thrust her hips as she held the onlookers mesmerised by her seduction.
Despite this on-screen persona, off screen, she feels more comfortable in not-so-revealing clothes in her personal life. The one thing she hates most is make-up (but don't tell the cosmetic companies she models for).
Boom to Zooooom!
There's no doubt that the trend in Katrina's films has been one of increasing amounts of skin. So it should come as no surprise that Katrina's latest but top secret film sees the culmination of this trend finally showing her completely naked but in the most tasteful way.
The film is made but it has yet to go on release and the producer and director are, for obvious reasons, not yet revealed. It is, however, thought to go under the working title of "Naked Desire". However, because they wish to attract a family audience this name will probably change.
The anonymous writer wrote to the Central Board of Film Control lobbying for a positive outcome of their deliberations on this film. The Board replied in the affirmative on the condition that the film should go straight to video and be silent since naked flesh alone is titillating enough but once combined with words, music and dancing it could be considered lewd. Any musical accompaniment should be played only on piano on the simple soundtrack and should be restricted to the old silent movie style although they could use music from a later period such as the 'Warsaw Concerto' and 'The Sound of Music'.
Your favourite entertainment correspondent has had exclusive access to the video (that could be yours: see above) and has the privilege of revealing it to you in all it's beauty. Please understad that this is a narration of our interpretation what essentially is a silent movie.
In 'Desire' Katrina plays Pushpah, a young village girl who is one day driving goats through the street when a handsome Prince comes through with his cortege of luxury cars. Pushed to one side she looks up and immediately falls in love with the beau in his finery who looks briefly at her straight in the eyes but ignores her, looking back at his girl on the seat beside him.
When they have driven off Pushpah, compforting her frightened goats, looks longingly into the sky at birds flying and the tear on her cheek tells all to well of her longing to be free and away from the goats and to be swept up by her handsome Prince.
We see her next dancing and singing around her overcrowded little house about her love for the Prince, joined by her many siblings and cousins. The joy is short-lived because when Pushpah's father arrives and scolds her for not working - his staring eyes and gigantic twitching moustache are enough to show his extreme anger.
When a cousin explains to him that Pushpah is dancing because she is in love with a Prince he sends Pushpah, now in tears, to bed telling her not to be so stupid. What would a Prince want with a goat girl? The sad and tearful Pushpah cries herself to sleep.
In a dream she is visited by her dead grandmother who, by movements of her very expressive bushy eyebrows and face tells her that if she wants the Prince to desire her and her father to approve she must bathe in the waters of a sacred lake where once bathed the God Ganesh. The location is known only to the local good-time girl Geeta Maneeta. Geeta having a squint has only been able to make a living by regularly bathing in the lake once a year to adjust her wayward eyes.
Imploring the older and more worldly Geeta to take her to the lake, Pushpah sings of her love for the Prince and a tearful Geeta who has never known real love takes pity upon her.
The film continues with the adventures of Pushpah and Geeta during their perigrinations through forests of Assam and mountains of Tibet in search of the sacred lake. This includes a dance interlude with a Yak and a run-in with an evil itinerant vegetable seller, a distant relative. He threatens to tell Pushpah's father. However, after dancing in the street with the local peasants and singing 'Oh no you won't' in seven different dialects (all subtitled), Pushpah finally persuades him of the error of his ways.
The nude scene comes when Pushpah and Geeta mount the brow of a wooded hill and look down into a green and flowering valley where they see the sky blue lake stretched before them. The camera stays on the hill as the two girls descend towards the water, casting off items of clothing as they go and chanting praise to Ganesh. They reach the shore of the lake where they are finally completely naked and distant on the shore making an offering to the God. The camera zooms in toward their curvaceous beauty and we gradually see the contours of their silhouetted breasts as they face each other embracing in soft focus. The camera comes closer and closer and finally when all their nude beauty is visible to the naked eye the two are already in the lake but not before the lens reveals a fleeting view of a breast and the shadowy delight of two lissom youg females frolicking together with joy in the water.
As the two girls, radiant and glowing are dressing, the prince (played by relative newcomer Gunjee Wunjee) and his Major Domo (another newbie Kishore Purbhoo) turn up in a large chrome-plated 4x4 out on a Tiger hunt. Immediately taken by the beauty of Pushpah, the sacred waters having done the trick for her and Geeta, the Prince sweeps her up and his Major Domo is immediately smitten by Geeta.
They drive to the Prince's hunting camp and filled with joy dance together around a large Banyan tree before being joined, as if from nowhere, by all their families who dance with them. Even the vegetable seller sitting in a corner with Pushpah's miraculously materialised Grandmother is laughing over old times and obviously very happy for the young Pushpah.
The film ends with the four happy newly-weds in a large golden coach pulled by white horses driving off into the distance and to a happy and prosperous future.
Although not on general release yet, the film was entered for the Cannes Zoom* Award for tasteful photography and cinematography. It won first prize for its silence and the skill and taste with which the cameraman depicted the naked bodies of the two beautiful actresses. The musical score too received special mention for originality particularly the Bhangra Concert something very difficult to pull-off on a piano.
